Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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