They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
