I'm pants shitting drunk right now
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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