Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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