I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
false alarm. still invincible.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He better not be in your backpack
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
