dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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