this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
