I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize