The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
