We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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