Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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