morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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