I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Panties = found
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
