she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
