not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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