I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
