there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
