It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
