it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
