He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
