I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
