I'm drive I can fine osifer
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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