My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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