I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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