break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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