I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Its about making memories worth repressing
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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