Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
