I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
