Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
