How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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