i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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