Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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