Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I understand Curling. That high.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
