also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
