if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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