oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nicole vs. Life
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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