Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
