my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
