I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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