you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
