I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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