if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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