Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
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