Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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