Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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