I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
