Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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