Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
