CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
