I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
