you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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