Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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